Common Sense is Not Common, but Courtesy Is
Common sense, as it is defined, means good, sound judgment. But I don’t think that’s what it means in today’s day and age. When I think of common sense, I think of “no brainer” things that everyone knows to do or not to do:
say “please” and “thank you”
don’t pick your nose in public
wash your hands after going to the bathroom
turn off the lights when you leave the room
put your dishes in the sink or dishwasher when you’re done with them
If you’re honest with yourself, you can think of these examples and people who don’t do them – like ever. I know, it’s gross in some cases, but we’ve all passed that person picking their nose at the stop light, watched that person leave the bathroom without washing their hands, overhead other patrons order servers around without a “please” or “thank you”, and on and on. And some of you may be thinking these examples aren’t common sense at all – because you yourself don’t do them (lights, dishes). That just proves my point. Because, these are all things that are common sense to me. However, in order for us to share commons sense, we would have to have common backgrounds, experiences, families of origin, rituals, and a number of other things that would make what each of us see as “sense” common. I grew up in the same household with two older brothers and a younger step-sister, and I assure you, we don’t even have “common sense” among the four of us. Common sense is a misnomer; there is really no such thing.
So often, I think, when we are talking about common sense, what we really mean is common courtesy(or decency).
When I think of good, sound judgment, it means doing the right thing for the greater good and not just thinking about yourself.
What is the right thing? Well, sometimes that can be open for interpretation – especially when we continue to measure that by our own selfish needs and desires, or whatever it is we feel or believe. But, most of the time, it’s pretty obvious if the focus is on the greater good and not the self.
When I polled a group of friends for examples of common decency, they cited things like:
responding to a text or phone call with in a reasonable amount of time
letting someone who has far less items than you go before you at the checkout
covering your mouth when you cough/sneeze
saying excuse me when you burp, fart, or bump into someone
realizing that the world is filled with people other than me and when I’m in public I can’t do whatever I want
These all have a shared factor in what makes them decent: they are about someone else and not you.
We have created a society where common decency – and the greater good – has gone out the window. It is all about me and my needs – and the leaders in Washington set this example every day. Democratic government is supposed to serve the people, not the people serve the government. But every day we see our leaders focusing on their own agenda, their party’s agenda, but not necessarily that of the people. Interest groups – by nature, are focused on their own interests (which usually means whatever makes them the most money) – help set the agenda of lawmakers. I’m not saying every lawmaker is not serving well in government, because I believe there are some there for the greater good. But, in general, the greater good is lost on us today. We care about ourselves, what we want, what we think we need, above anything else. And we are responsible for the erosion of common sense and common decency. Us.
So, what do we do? And we must do something, because I don’t want to live in a society that is all about ME FIRST. Because, let’s be honest, we all want others to be decent to us, to consider our feelings, to take an interest in our needs. We just don’t necessarily want to do the same in return. I mean, really? Think about that statement. Everything about it is wrong, backwards. I have a list of paradoxical commandments that I found several years ago and I keep it hanging near my workspace. One of my favorites is, “Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth….. GIVE THE WORLD THE BEST YOU HAVE ANYWAY.” That’s common decency, and that’s something we can all do.
In what ways do you show common decency by giving the best you have, even when the world kicks you in the teeth?